America Sucks (aka I Think I'm Turning Japanese...)

Why is it that consistently Japanese actors are hotter than American/European actors? I mean, this isn’t just a matter of opinion (okay so it is, but for all intents and purposes, I’m right and you’re wrong). Japanese celebrities are actually always hotter than American/English hot. Americans always have something WRONG with them! But Japanese people, they’re so beautiful, men and women. They’ve got gorgeous faces and the best eyes on the planet.

And let’s get into the personalities too. With SOME exceptions, Japanese actors keep to themselves a lot more, whereas in the US Zac Efron can’t take a shit without it being on the cover of US Weekly next week! And it’s not like Rob Pattinson’s love life is FASCINATING. So he gets around, big whoop. I can name five men who probably have had more booty than he has, and they actually have PERSONALITIES (NOT ALWAYS good ONES, BUT STILL…) Japanese actors are cute and stylish, and they don’t like spilling their guts to every tabloid on Earth.

Geez, and we’ve got big dorks like Zac Efron or big jerks like Rob Pattinson. It isn’t even like they’re drop-dead handsome. Zac Efron looks so impish and immature. Rob Pattinson looks like the latest addition to the America’s Most Wanted Family.

Look at the comparison photos between Mainstream American Zac Efron and my FAVORITE Japanese actor (who also is pretty mainstream in his home country), Tatsuya Fujiwara:



You can’t honestly look at these photos and not pic the Death Note babe! Zac almost has that geeky tourist look, only too excited to wave into the camera. Tatsuya looks so laid back and smokin’, like a male celebrity is SUPPOSED to look like! Cool! And he ALWAYS looks like that! Gragh!

Here’s another example: Rob Pattinson and Ando Masanobu, who both play odd, darker characters:

God, maybe part of it is the obvious Anti-Twilight bias baggage I have, but if I were to choose a dark, brooding man out of these to, gimme the psycho killer with the Ingram (Battle Royale reference…I really am a dork and a half) Rob here looks like he got a lobotomy before having this photo taken. Ando’s look is intense, scary. I honestly want to rape him. I’ve seen three movies with him in it (all subtitled in Engrish, o’course) and he’s so talented too! If Rob doesn’t impress me with Little Ashes, I am probably going to kick his ass. So much hype over him but I still can’t see the supposed talent he has. Even Cedric Diggory didn’t impress me much.

And, as my friend Allie would say: Rob's got an awkward face. I couldn't agree more.

And the WOMEN…hmm….lets see…Ashley Tisdale vs Kou Shibasaki:


Shall I even begin to rant about Ashley Tisdale? Nawh, you’re right. This one wasn’t fair. Kou is so drop-dead beautiful, and again with the cool photo, whereas Tisdale looks uncomfortable to be in front of the camera.

Sorry if this offends anyone or if they disagree. But I’m just saying, why are our actors so lame???? Why can’t we have ONE American actress who isn’t a preppy bubble bleached blonde with a big nose and tight jeans? Why do all our men have those weird EYES? Honestly, Rob Pattinson, to be frank, is not hot. He looks like he belongs in Shawshank (and I’m not talkin’ redemption, babe).

Well, I guess that’s enough for now. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go read manga and eat pocky. Fuck you.