The Rant Of a Lifetime (aka Lets Brutally Massacre Members of the GOP)

Guys, be prepraed. The rant you are about to read probably has more swear words and vulgarities than you have heard in your lifetime.

Okay, so here's the straight-up story so you know why I'm slightly tweaked: The GOP coup'ed the NY State Senate from the Dems, who only had control fo it for, like, 4 months. They bribed two on-the-aisle Dems from the Bronx to vote with them, so it passed. Now the GOP is in control...AGAIN...against the popular VOTE, who VOTED for the Democratic Majority. Which means, essentially, is that the gay marriage bill which I have worked my ass off to help ensure is passed by the end of the month will most liekly be shot down until it can be brought up again in, like, ANOTHER 40 years. This was unexpected, pre-meditated, and came out of nowhere.

THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS.

Seriously, fuck that goddamn bull-fucking shit. Who do those twat-sucking, slimy, self-obsessed snakes think they are to do that totally bitchy (yet sadly legal) maneuver? Yeah, folk, this cuntjob is 100% legal. Wanna know why? Because of the representative system we have in this mudsucking country!! The same system that illegally elected George Bush in 2000 and was responible for a lovely 8-year ride right into the fires of hell for this country!! Has this country learned NOTHING?!?!?! FUCK THAT FUCKSHIT!!! The people own this country (or, are supposed to). WE HAVE NO SAY HERE, PEOPLE. The direction in which this styate has been heading has just been stolen from us because of a bribe and a bunch of straw-sucking motherfucking self-interested white upper class WASP assholes who want nothing more than power to further their own interests and NOT the interests of their people!!! WE MEAN NOTHING!!!

Pardon my French, here, folks, but each and every member of the GOP is a slimy, ugly, nasty, two-faced son of a bitch who's mother was a whore with AIDS and herpes and whose father was in the closet and onyl slept with their mother because they felt sorry that she was fat and had an IQ of 16. Forrest Gump beat every one fo them on the SAT in high school and the only reason they're married is because they paid their spouses big bucks.

Really, this is bad, bad, bad. I have worked my ass off to help further the cause of human rights, and hah, if anyone is anti-human rights, it the GOP clowns.

And to think, the cause of all this is two Democrats-who-should-be-Republicans!! They took the bribe (probably money, yes?) and got greedy and sold their whole districts out! And this is NYC they represent, people. If it were, like the Adirondacks, I'd somewhat understand. But these clowns were senators of one of the most liberal cities on Earth.

The end is nigh. Start stocking up the ol' fallout shelters, because the COUNTRY IS FUCKED!!!

MY Personal Picks for the Top 10 Songs of the 80s!

Okay, bitches. I haven’t been on in awhile because of my slave driving job. So, here I am now, sneaking in some time a day before my birthday, and I’m here to bitch about those dumb NTV and VH1 lists of Top 10 80s songs. You know, the ones that are constantly topped by Living on a Prayer and Hungry Like the Wolf? Yeah. Not that those aren’t awesome songs, but I feel those lists rank a bunch of really good songs below where they ought to be. So I’m creating my OWN Top 10 List of what in MY opinion are the Best Songs of the 1980s. If you disagree with me, fuck you. *Flips you off*

10.) Men at Work: Land Down Under
This song ended up becoming the unofficial anthem of Australia, it got so big! The music video made me bust a gut laughing the first time I watched it, and the words sound like a fairy tale written by a stoned koala, but its still a pretty epic song that deserves a lot more. So, whip up a vegemite sandwich and plug in your iPods!

9.) Madonna: Material Girl
Madonna had to make the Top 10 somehow, but it’s almost always ‘Like a Virgin’ that makes it (OMG, virgins…tee hee). I personally prefer Material Girl because it’s got a much truer message that I myself live by in my bitter loneliness up until I met my current manmeat. Every girl knows the words to this song, or at least knows of this song and has to shake their head in agreement.

8.) Journey: Don’t Stop Believing
I think this one made it to #11 on the VH1 list, but VH1 fails, because this song is classic awesome. It deserves a Top 10 spot because this song has become the theme of pretty much every second-rate athletic team in the world, not to mention during the latter part of the 80s is was played at practically every non-religiously-affiliated wedding in America. It’s power chords and iconic message can pump some much-needed energy into even MY day.

7.) A-Ha: Take On Me
I think in the past week alone as I was driving my car to work, I heard this song at least 5 times. Goes to show you how iconic this song really is. The music video is twice as epic as the song (check it out!) and it really made me want to buy a comic book. Plus, the lead singer’s falsettos make even me, a female who happens to have an Alto I voice insane with jealousy.

6.) Soft Cell: Tainted Love
I always pictures my first breakup being to the tune of this song. The vid is creepy (both versions), but the song is the ultimate breakup song of the 80s. One I ran to you, now I run from you…

5.) Pat Benatar: Heartbreaker
A girl-power anthem and my favorite from yon Pat Benatar. Usually Love is a Battlefield scores higher, and that one does run a close second, but Heartbreaker is such a classic, it makes me sad seeing it come in at, like number 50.

4.) Billy Idol: White Wedding
My personal favorite song to wind down a bad day with because it makes me more pissed, and that makes me more happy (flips off grammar Nazis). If I ever have to sing this to my little sister, I’ll probably be too pissed to sign it in key. But really, this song is great.

3.) Eurythmics: Sweet Dreams
I think it was Allie who said this was the ultimate song to have sex to. It definitely has the mood music and the...um….words I still don’t get after listening to it my whole life. But yeah, I’ll agree. It definitely does something to me. ;)

2.) Devo: Whip It
Probably if anyone had to associate a single song with the 1980s, this would be it for a lot of people. Those flowerpot-wearing fools made this a one-hit wonder…probably because by 1984, people had it with those nutjobs. Still, this song with its heavy reliance on the computer synthesizer and organ for melody, practically revolutionized music just in time for the rest of the 80s!

1.) Michael Jackson: Thriller
Okay honestly, how did this one ever NOT make it into the Top 10, let alone #1?!?! DEFINITLEY Michael Jackson’s Magnum Opus! I’ve seen Billie Jean score higher on most lists I’ve looked up…but really??? Thriller NOT being #1?? Give me a break, fucktards! This song and it’s music video is absolute legend!